Mentatul

Tag: love

  • Beautiful Illustrations About Long Term Relationships

    Beautiful Illustrations About Long Term Relationships

    I love this heartfelt series of drawings about long term relationships:

    https://themindunleashed.com/2018/04/the-truth-about-long-term-relationships-in-25-brutally-honest-illustrations.html^

    I don’t know why at least this site has called it “brutally” honest. What’s so brutal about it? The fact that there’s hair and smelly breath involved? Why would that be brutal? I guess the website I just linked should take their own advice and unleash their mind a little bit more.

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  • Why Am I Here?

    Why Am I Here?

    “Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.”

    – Meša Selimovic

    There are many big questions in life. For me, this is one of the most important ones. I don’t need anybody or anything to give me an answer for it. Paradoxically, I think one of the reasons we’re here is to come up with these answers ourselves. We find our own reasons to be here. We’re the architects of our own lives.

    So why am I here? My answer is quite simple and is also a sort of “new year’s resolution”:

    I’m here to love.

    I build my life for the sole purpose of expressing Love NOW; not tomorrow, not next month, but NOW. My mind is the antenna that picks up the Love that surrounds me, and my soul is the sun that shines it through my body. I do not keep this Love hostage in myself. I beam it across the Universe and bestow it on family, teachers, friends, those who like me AND those who don’t. I love Man, Animal, Plant, Stone and Star, for Love is the almighty, transcending force that brings meaning to our existence. And because the NOW has become an eternal monument to Love, I AM HAPPY, for my life now truly lives.

    [ax_meta lnimgurl=’http://mentatul.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/02723-WhyAmIHere-Thumb.jpg’ lnimgw=’250′ lnimgh=’250′ title=’Why Am I Here?’ desc=’One of the reasons we're here is to come up with these answers ourselves. We find our own reasons to be here. We're the architects of our own lives.’]

  • Opening to Love

    Opening to Love

    This profound and emotional writing celebrates the difference between men and women in a glorious way. It honors love by crossing into the mystic with little regard for social norms (especially the social norms of Western culture). It is a text that challenges, but one that will shine in an open mind and open heart:

    https://sacreddreamsinspiration.wordpress.com/2017/06/13/opening-to-love/^

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  • The “Art of Peace” Trilogy

    The “Art of Peace” Trilogy

    Peace is something most people yearn for. Yet sometimes it seems like it’s slipping away rather than becoming wide-spread. There probably is a parallel between a lack of peace in people’s private life and the lack of peace between many countries, societies or cultures.

    We live in a day and age when individualism has become a new religion and when the survival instinct hasn’t yet caught up with the comforts of modern life. Science has given us so much that many people have fallen into it, making it the sole focus of their life, often forgetting about other equally important aspects of existence. They seek in science the solution to any problem. But looking at our evolution, I would say that our science is still primitive. It’s definitely not something we should have blind faith in, yet this is exactly the ego trap that some people fall for.

    Emotion ended up being seen as the behavioral manifestation of a biological machine. Perhaps it is, but this approach lacks imagination; its artistic dimension is missing. As the union between emotion and free will, art is a pillar of life.

    Let’s go beyond the simple textbook definition of peace and above the few sentences we could think of in a rush. Peace as a life-permeating and world-changing emotion is something that we need to dig at. It is something that requires introspection, research and application.

    Throughout the following three articles, I have silenced my inner scientist and tuned in to my emotions. I explored gratefulness, love and empathy in order to grasp at the foundations of peace.

    Part 1 – Because You Are Here^, exposes gratefulness as a key ingredient of a happier life. This emotion is a catalyst for the cultivation of inner peace and its outward manifestation as social peace.

    Part 2 – Interaction and the Spectrum of Love^, deals with relationships and how they generate love and grow from love. The emotion of love is not only a primordial force of life but also the strongest motivator for peace.

    Part 3 – Be and Let Be^, focuses on empathy and how this can release one’s life from the pressure of destructive competition (in opposition to natural, instinct-driven competition). Empathy is an instinctual means of connection and a transmitter of peace.

    Interlude – Corporations, Corrupt Governments, Militaries and Lots of Empathy^, bridges this trilogy with the upcoming “Science of Peace” trilogy.

     

    I wish you peace.

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  • Interaction and the Spectrum of Love

    Interaction and the Spectrum of Love

    Existence is enriched through interaction. Any interaction, no matter how insignificant, gives birth to a relationship. A consciousness that exists by itself, in an empty Universe, cannot interact with anything, cannot experience any relationship. Such a situation may perhaps be worse than non-existence (*).

    Interaction is richer between species that have more in common, peaking when it involves members of the same species. There can be little argument that the most constructive (beneficial, pleasant) type of interaction is love. The nature, meaning and purpose of love has been debated by scientists, philosophers, mystics and all in between. Its overriding power has remained difficult to explain, even though many disciplines seem to think they have the right answer.

    Legalizing love

    Most healthy humans yearn for love. In spite of this, in a large part of the world, few people venture to have a conversation about love or use “I love you” outside relationships with family or intimate partners. This is a widespread social problem. The results of this schism can be seen everywhere.

    Many people today face isolation, unhappiness and depression. Without the emotional nourishment of love, it is very easy for entire social groups to become ideological prey to intellectual viruses such as consumerism, racism and nationalism.

    But the culture of “I love you” is returning. Families are starting to realize that saying this to their children results in a happier family life and more emotionally secure offspring. Friends are rediscovering the value of sharing this honest feeling towards each other. It is important for people to raise their awareness of how love makes them feel, so that they more actively share and spread this emotion.

    The spectrum of love

    Throughout life we encounter countless avatars of love. There is the love for family, for friends and even the love of one’s so-called enemies, which stop being enemies when empathy and love work as they should. Every interaction becomes a relationship and any relationship can be one of love. What is life if not an exploration of all the ways love can be felt?

    It is certainly true of us humans that we are all of the same family. Even though the formation of our society has its roots in the necessary creation of survival-related advantages, we have outgrown these necessities. Especially during this age of post-scarcity, there are very few reasons why we should keep falling prey to our survival instinct and give into fear and hate. Our society is transforming from a stage of mere mutual interest towards one of brotherhood and sisterhood.

    As our consciousness refines, we will continue to expand the borders of what we perceive as “family”. One day, we will reach a stage when we will perceive every single thing in this Universe, regardless of our current definition of life, as part of the same family simply by virtue of existing. Stars, humans, atoms and blades of grass, we are all children of existence.

    The great attractor

    Some people see love as a sort of force. It is. Any relationship that is predominantly loving is a relationship where the two sides will grow closer together. There probably are scientific reasons for this behavior in life forms. We know that complex intelligence can live and express love more fully. It is interesting that the Universe has given birth to such a constructive outcome. Even when rationalized as “an instinct for procreation”, love maintains its quality of being able to build towards more love.

    The more interactions one has, the more of the spectrum of love one experiences. The Universe can thus be seen as a sort of museum of love, a collection of nearly infinite ways of experiencing and enriching the feeling. Through evolution, there is little doubt that this process will soar to unfathomable heights of conscious emotion.

    There is an interesting parallel between love and another primordial process. It’s the same process that has given birth to every atom in our bodies: nuclear fusion. The light that allows us to live is the result of hydrogen atoms joining together to form helium atoms inside the Sun. Earth exists because another star, long before the Sun, has spread the atoms it created inside across this region of the Universe. Fusion, like love, is a constructive process.

    Interactions nourished by love are of a healing nature. Friendship for example is a relationship of love that can endure many hardships and provides a solid life pillar to those involved. Let us also consider the love towards one self, for it is extremely powerful. This reflected interaction can be so powerful that it can become a drug. The addiction to self-love can lead to serious psychological problems such as narcissism or megalomania.

    It is important that we, as a society, offer enough love to each other so that we do not fall into the trap of self-love. Instead, it is best to see self-love as just another facet of the emotion, therefore not allowing self-love to suffocate the love of everything else around us. This is especially important as everything around us is also part of the same family. Losing sight of this deprives one of the opportunities to fully explore love.

    Look around you, see who looks like they need some love. Don’t limit yourself to your family or friends. Work outwards. Get that loving vibe flowing to your coworkers, dare to reach out to the newest person in your life, somebody you just met.

    Look around you, see who radiates love. Embrace it, absorb it, learn from it. Love can be a skill and like any skill it can be perfected through practice and observation. So get into the business of radiating love because love breeds love. And to also be a bit pragmatic, it’s important to mention that this emotion opens doors that no amount of money or power can open.

    In closing, I’ll share something I wrote about love on the 1st of January 2014:

    I shall build my life for the sole purpose of expressing Love NOW; not tomorrow, not next month, but NOW. My mind will become the antenna that picks up the Love that surrounds me, and my soul will be the sun that shines it through my body. I shall not keep this Love hostage in myself. I will beam it across the Universe and bestow it on family, teachers, friends, those who like me AND those who don’t. I shall love Man, Animal, Plant, Stone and Star, for Love is the almighty, transcending force that brings meaning to our existence. And when the NOW becomes an eternal monument to Love, I WILL BE HAPPY, for my life now truly lives.

     

    This article is the second part of The “Art of Peace” Trilogy^.

     

    (*)^ Perhaps this is why in several spiritual traditions, the godhead is said to create companions for itself or forget itself and split into myriad other beings in order to rediscover itself (hopefully having some fun in the process).

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  • Parenting – in Three Words

    Parenting – in Three Words

    Parenting advice is a dime a dozen these days. A part of it comes from well conducted studies and centuries of pediatric experience. Sometimes, even more convincing advice comes from a person’s entourage and originates from all sorts of personal experience that parents tend to generalize. This torrent of theories and information falls prey to its own diversity. Conflicting advice becomes commonplace and it can all become very confusing before you know it.

    I knew all this way before becoming a parent. I’ve seen the frustration of other parents as they try to combine advice from many different sources. So, when becoming a parent, I gave this matter some serious thought. What if there was no advice at all? What would I do then? I brought it down to these three words which, so far, I’ve found to be a solid foundation for being a good parent: loving, patient, careful.

    Be loving. Love can bring out the beauty, humor, playfulness and teaching of almost any situation. Children are amazing at sensing, reacting to and recording feelings. Before they can comprehend speech, this is the way they communicate with their parents, getting information about the world they have entered. Love is a powerful statement that they are safe. This brings the best in any child. Even when a baby is in distress, a loving parent will make the situation much more manageable for both.

    Love transpires from every action. Even if a parent is stressed or worried, if the love is there, it will make the other, more negative feelings, much easier for the child to cope with. And besides, it’s important for children to see that their parents can be stressed or worried. These are facts of life on Earth. As long as the love is there, a child will use it as shelter whenever exposure to other feelings becomes overwhelming.

    Be patient. Patience is a key ingredient in tackling most difficult situations. It allows one to keep one’s wits about. Love and patience have a synergetic relationship, enhancing and completing each other. The feeling of love stimulates the practice of patience. In turn, patience ensures love has a space to unfold. The disarming innocence and budding intelligence of a child is like a restless sea. Only the patient explorer will find peaceful land.

    One of my patience-stimulating tricks is to think about parents who are in a much worse situation than I am in at a given moment. At times, my parents had to wash my (cloth) diapers with melted snow at the light of a candle. Other parents have children with serious issues or are themselves going through difficult struggles. There’s almost always something worse that could happen, so a poo in a freshly changed diaper at 3 AM isn’t such a big deal now is it? At least there was something to poo!

    Be careful. There is very little room for error when it comes to children. Fortunately, this is instinctive knowledge. But it never hurts to emphasize this. One mistake can turn a happy childhood into a life-long relationship with the healthcare industry. And I don’t necessarily mean physical harm. Parents have to be careful to everything they expose their children to: environment, food, entertainment, people, chemicals and medicine.

    Here’s an example of a recent mistake I’ve made. We recently agreed to perform a blood test for rare diseases on our son. If I were more careful, I’d have read more information about how the blood is extracted. I didn’t, so we went to the test and it turned out that the nurse had to drill with a needle in our son’s hand for more than five minutes while complaining that “they have tiny blood vessels”. It was completely barbaric and unnecessary in my opinion. Maybe children don’t remember what happened to them in their first years, but they are definitely influenced by it. That’s my belief. But because I wasn’t careful, I didn’t even get the chance to act on my belief (and skip the test).

    Love, patience, care – that’s the only foundation any parent needs for their child’s education. It’s a foundation that will only allow good parenting advice to be built upon. And the marvelous thing about such a foundation is that it can be used for any undertaking in life and to life itself. Loving, patient, caring people will always go the extra mile, succeed in the final challenge and live to laugh and celebrate the teachings that life brought to them.

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